Shemale Schlongs - Review |
When a site promises thousands of this and thousands of that, you might be a bit skeptical. And you would be right. Shemale Schlongs.com promises “1000’s of Shemale Videos” and “1000’s of Tranny Stories”. Unfortunately, the movies offered number less than a hundred and the stories on the site are 300 or less. When a site promises one thing and delivers something substantially less, I get the stink-eye ready. But is the site stinky? We shall soon see.
What the site lacks in tranny content, it attempts to make up in bonus and other types of content. This is your typical tranny mega site.
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Self-described “#1 Tranny Site on the Web”, Shemale Schlongs attempts to caress your tranny-loving senses with gargantuan content and never-ending pics and flicks. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Yes, there are 1000’s of videos, but only 100 of them are of a shemale nature. There may just be 1000’s of erotic stories, but I counted a little over 300 in the tranny category. Shemale Schlongs is apparently lumping together all of its bonus sites and material to make one ginormous shemale spread.
Navigation is absolutely superb. White background with purple and yellow accents is in excellent taste and extremely easy on the eye. Passing your mouse pointer over anything is flawless.
The main members’ page has all of the most recent updates and a section entitled Today’s Headlines which culls together different sex-related news stories from around the world. And it is in fact today’s headlines. I reviewed this site on February 8th and all of the headlines were for this day. Impressive. And they didn’t lie about it.
You can also find Daily Funnies on the main page which is usually a groaner of a joke that you might find in your e-mail junk folder. An example:
What am I? I am a common object enjoyed by sexes, normally about 8 inches long, with little hairs on one end, and a hole on the other. For most of the day I am laying down, but I am ready for instant action. When in use, I move back and forth and in 'n' out a warm, moist hole. When the work is finally done, a white, slushy, sticky mush is left behind, and I return to my original position. Cleaning is usually done after I am. What am I? Why, I am your very own...Toothbrush! What were you thinking, you pervert?
Suivant/next!
Click on Image Galleries and you are taken to a page with “featured tranny galleries” and a plethora of “bonus plug-in galleries”, all of which were of a non-transsexual nature. The “featured tranny galleries” had maybe 3 pages of 12 models per page with approximately 30 pics on each. Where the site comes up with 1000’s “tranny pics” is beyond me. The snaps are very professional and clear, but they lack the depth the site promised in its main page.
The “bonus plug-in galleries” included titles like Asian Hunies, Lipstick Lezzies, Slutty Schoolgirls, etc. The same old cookie-cutter crap you’ve seen on a myriad of other sites. Get to the last gallery in the bonus section and you are treated to “extra bonus galleries”, none of which, again, are of a shemale nature. Categories here include “amateurs, “double penetration” and “fat girls”. Fat girls? You gotta be shittin’ me! All of it was filler and hardly any shemale stuff filled up the site.
The site also offers and E-Zine section with “premium e-zines”. Titles like Advanced Foreplay, Handbook to Sex and Handbook to Women which claims the following:
Learn the insider secrets on how players pick up women! With new monthly feature articles, new material and questions answered daily by Dr. Love, you will experience all the beauties of being successful with women.
Click on Erotic Stories and you’re taken to a page with the usual Playboy Forum fare written by people who download much too much internet porn. The worst part of the stories was that only a fraction of them were of a tranny nature.
The Adult Games section brings you to a bunch of silly, ridiculous games with a sexual twist. Names like Jizz-Saw Puzzle, Penis Tennis, Shoot Your Wad and Dildo Darts.
Next we move on the Store section. Finally, lots of tranny content. Only problem is, you have to pay for it. Up to $19.95 per DVD when they should have the same content available for download on their site.
The Personals section is a page devoted to paying dating sites.
Conclusion
While the site is extremely well laid out and the navigation is one of the best I’ve encountered, Shemale Schlongs doesn’t score all that well. The site is more like a megasite with a sprinkling of tranny content. If you want to spend $4.95, go ahead and sign up for your 3-day trial, just remember you’re paying for access to a bunch of ok sites, not a site dedicated to exclusively to trannies. With this site you get a lot, just not a lot of Shemale Schlongs.
Price: 3-day trial - $4.95 – 30 days - $39.99
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