Asian Shemales XXX - Review |
Although I have never been to the Far East where AsianShemalesXXX drafts its slant-eyed stable of lady-boy sluts, I do enjoy their delicacies. For instance, if I’m going to an Asian restaurant, I’ll order a plate of Cream of Sum Yung Gurl, but I will refrain from nibbling on the Cum Tu Soon platter. But after looking at some of the offerings of AsianShemaleXXX, I’m not so sure I’d be able to hold out. Where does the site find these sloe-eyed Oriental she-hes? According to the main page, their shutterbugs hunt them down in bars and nightclubs, but also at local universities and remote villages in Asia. They even belong to “private, exclusive underground societies forbidden to anyone outside of the Asian transsexual world.” Asian shemales… the forbidden fruit. Cast me from Eden; I want in.
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At first glance, you’ll want to adjust the colors and hues on your computer screen upon entering the site. After a moment or two, you’ll realize it’s just the site itself. With backgrounds and foregrounds seemingly put together by a team of blind monkeys, Asian Shemales still satisfies the Oriental lady-boy cravings in us all.
With no less than 75 galleries featuring close to 10 models in each gallery, you’ll soon develop almond-shaped eyes, too. For each model, you are treated to her name, age and measurements. The webmaster attempts to inject a bit of humor with one-liners while introducing each one, but ends up embarrassing himself in the process. Only there’s nothing shameful about the girls he takes pictures of. Each one looks better than the next. It’s hard to come up with a favorite. If you were to put a sharpened chopstick to my neck, I would have to choose Sandy. This tight, taut little Asian beauty has the hottest body, the cutest face and the biggest clit this side of Chinatown. I’ll include a snap with this review.
Asian Shemales XXX also has movies… lots and lots of movies. 13 video galleries featuring 20 models in each and you have yourself a flog-fest of furious females. My pal Sandy is also available in three different sets of movie clips. Most of the clips are 30 seconds long and take up no more than 5 megs of drive space. But in order to find room to fit all of the flicks, you’ll need a humungo drive or have to burn CDs ‘till the early morning.
Better yet, Asian Shemales XXX offers its members a free CD-ROM, for their “loyalty”. Each CD is jam-packed with these features, as described by the site itself: Each video CD features gorgeous Asian Shemales jerking off, playing with their throbing (sic) cocks, and squirting their warm, sticky cum all over the place. Guaranteed functionally hard… guaranteed cum-squirting action! I’m not really sure why they need to “guarantee” their stuff, since it’s already available on the site to download.
What I would really like to know is how these models got their names. You can find the likes of Kookai, San-San, Moo, Earn, Ju, Nu, O, Boo, Tong, Bank, LekBig and LekSmall. Perhaps they had a bunch of the same blind monkeys that put the color scheme of the site together banging out absurd words on old typewriters. Then again, I’m just an Occidental web tourist… what do I know?
What site wouldn’t be complete without the usual Pay-Per-View Video Theatre option? Yup, this site harbors it as well. It’s not worth the money. Stick to old-fashioned downloading or the free CD-ROMS offered by the site. If you can’t find what you’re looking for with the site’s own exclusive models, you need to be less picky.
There’s also a section where you can vote for your favorite Asian model. They’ve also got a page full of Japanese Transsexual Manga Comics. Whoever drew those panels must have leaned heavy on the crack pipe. The Member’s Corner boasts an E-Bay like environment where you can purchase used, sticky Asian porn magazines. If it’s porn-related, it’s gotta be for sale.
Lastly, the site has a section that showcases some of the models being interviewed. If you wish to listen to English garbled and mumbled at its best, have a look and listen. I’ve heard cats mating that sounded easier on the eardrums than these lady-boys. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Conclusion
While I’ve also been a great admirer of Asian shemales, I never really could find a site that truly catered to all things Asian. Asian Shemales XXX is that site. I had no idea places like China, Indonesia, Korea, Japan, Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand, and Vietnam sheltered so many adorable Oriental lady boys. The next time I order some Chinese food, I’ll think of little Sandy and probably Cum Tu Soon.
Price: $19.95 per month
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